“We seek to attract people who are in alignment with our most authentic and strongest self. Building strong interpersonal and romantic relationships is not about creating superficial illusions or wearing a mask.”

Here are five ways in which you can begin to build conscious relationships..

1. Go within – Nurture and practice depth in yourself first

Respecting yourself means that you don’t put your desire for a relationship above listening to your heart, body, mind and spirit and honouring the messages received.

Always see yourself as the divine and sensual being that you are and never put yourself down. When we belittle ourselves, we create a sense of worthlessness and often choose partners who mirror the lack of respect we have for ourselves.

“On the other hand, when we respect ourselves, we are able to parlay that into attracting someone who respects us. We make more-evolved choices about who we allow in our lives and hearts.”

2. Be true to you – Come from an authentic place

How many of us have kept what we felt to ourselves because we thought it was what we were supposed to do? How many of us claimed to enjoy something our dates were interested in because we wanted to seem more relatable?

So many of us do it, but then we wonder why we feel like we have to wear a mask all the time, and why, when the mask inevitably breaks apart and our true self shows, the relationship wanes. It’s because we were not acting from a place that reflected our wants, needs, and ideals.

We were so focused on attracting someone that we failed to realize we were presenting a figment; an illusion. Striving for total authenticity should be a priority! It makes the interaction honest and substantial. They will have a chance to get to know you for you.

3. Be Hungry – have a thirst for knowledge and expansion

It is important to always express a deep curiosity about who you are, how you behave, and how you interact. To push yourself out of both your emotional and physical comfort zones ensures you’re always evolving and learning about your successes as well as your slip-ups.

When we desire to grow, we tend to change our perspective on things.

Rather than seeing a bad date or situation as a disaster, always look for the silver lining. Every date or relationship has something that held meaning even if that purpose was not to become a lifelong relationship.

4. Cultivate and practice self-love.

If you always treated yourself with the same loving kindness that you would a small child or a puppy, your relationships would change drastically. I emphasise the word ‘always’ here as some of us are actually pretty good at self-love and self-nurture, but not always..

When we love ourselves fully it means we accept ourselves, wobbly bits and all. We must acknowledge that our bodies, minds, and hearts have gotten us to where we are and should be loved and respected.
When you do this, you’ll begin to make choices that reflect this love. Instead of choosing just any old date just so you can be out on a Saturday night, you’ll hold out for someone who is worth all that you have to offer.

To receive healthy, true and lasting love you must first give it yourself… always!

5. Make a commitment to feeling good.

When you’re committed to seeking out only those things that feel good and make your soul happy, you slowly weed out the people and types of behaviours that deplete you. Knowing what feels good allows you to identify what doesn’t… People know what makes them feel good on the surface, but you’d be surprised at how many people don’t truly know what makes them feel good on a deeper level.

Be committed to finding your ‘happy place’ whether it be through regular yoga practice, hiking and being in nature, cooking, baking or sharing a coffee and some laughs with your best friend.

Whatever fills your heart and soul with a sense of love and purpose, do it.

Although the above “tips” seem obvious when it comes to fostering a conscious relationship, they are merely steps you should take to ensure your life is always “full” and that your happy tank is never depleted.

If you’ve been wearing a mask, take it off and step into your authentic self once again.

It’s time to understand the direct correlation between the love you have for yourself and the love you receive from others.

“May you receive and experience a deeper, more conscious relationship..”

Santarita